I’m asked pretty frequently why I moved to Fargo. In fact, that very question was the inspiration for this blog and the theme of my first post aptly titled, ”Why the heck did you move to Fargo?” To really understand how I ended up in North Dakota, hundreds of miles away from family and friends, I’d have to start a few years back.
Saying my goodbyes to James Madison before heading to Washington.
My name is Hailey Adkisson. When someone asks me where I’m from it is difficult for me to answer. You see, I was born in Washington state and still have the majority of my family located in the Pacific Northwest. However, much of my youth took place in La Plata, Maryland; a small town in Southern Maryland about 30 miles southeast of Washington, D.C. After high school, I headed down to James Madison University (GO DUKES!) located in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. Somewhere during that time I started dating my boyfriend (now fiancé), Blake, who is from the same town in Washington that I was born in.
I graduated with a degree in communication and decided to move back to Washington to be closer to family and the boyfriend. I spent a year working in central Washington as an AmeriCorps VISTA. Half way through my year in Washington, Blake decided to go back to school after a few years off, to finish his undergraduate degree. He soon got accepted to North Dakota State University. While this may seem random, it isn’t actually that bizarre. Both Blake’s parents, who currently live in Washington, are from North Dakota, and the majority of his extended family are still in the area. He would come visit every few years, but had never spent any extended period of time in the state and never a winter. As the end of my AmeriCorps year crept closer, the inevitable question came up: Would I move to North Dakota with him?
Blake and me: Go Bison!
I began job hunting and found a VISTA position with Habitat for Humanity in Moorhead doing the PR/Marketing for the organization. (Job: Check.) We took a road trip in June 2010 and found an apartment. (Apartment: Check.) Then I had to tell my family that their youngest daughter was moving to North Dakota with a boy. (100% approval from family: Yea, that one took a little more time.)
Before I knew it, we were loading our things into a U-Haul and headed for Fargo. Since the move, my family has come around to the idea of me living in the upper midwest and are constantly sending me articles about Fargo in the news. A few have even dared to visit and were pleasantly surprised by what they found.
I began to settle in to the midwestern lifestyle, and after my year with Habitat for Humanity, I decided to stick around a little longer and earn my master’s degree in communication from NDSU. GO BISON! I am now working on my third year living in North Dakota and I realized I liked the area so much that I may as well stick around even longer. I recently accepted a permanent position with Concordia College in Moorhead, Minnesota working with students to encourage service learning and volunteerism.
The beginning of my Midwest adventure.
I began writing this blog for a few reasons. First of all, I realized I was telling my stories of midwestern discoveries to my family and friends across the country over and over and over again. Rather than rack up the phone bill, I decided I should just compile my experiences in one place for them all to read. The second reason, and probably the most important reason, was to not only share an outsider’s perspective of the unique, and mostly positive, qualities that I have experienced in the upper midwest, but to also correct some of the myths associated with the area for those individuals that have never visited and assume the worst (my family included). North Dakota and the upper Midwest has a culture I have never experienced in any other part of the country. The unique food, the quirky accents and yes, even the weather, combined with the honest wholesomeness and compassion of every person I have come in contact with here, truly makes me love Becoming Midwestern.
[...] Adkisson moved to Fargo, ND, and blogs at Becoming Midwestern. Hailey didn’t grow up here, but as a non-native resident, she provides a fine [...]
Don’t worry, you’ll soon come to your senses and hate Fargo like the rest of the world. It’s parochial, racist, backward, lacks any diversity and has virtually no culture. It is a wasteland.
This guy has got it right:
“Yes, Fargo, North Dakota — the armpit of civilization. Why Fargo, you ask? Because for me, Fargo, North Dakota is the physical and spiritual symbol of what happens to you when you die inside.”
http://www.connectionnewspapers.com/news/2007/jun/19/marshall-grads-told-stay-out-of-fargo/
Hmm… interesting perspective on Fargo. I think I’ll stick around for a while and take my chances though.
Uncle Rico,
The quote is from a speech that was intended to be funny. Mr. Kane intended to use the Fargo quote for comic relief in his graduation address to his high school students in 2007. He goes on to describe an obviously fictitious place where shotguns are sold at the grocery store and the mall has two anchor store- a Victoria’s Secret and a hunting supply store. Mr. Kane is known for his high school classroom humor.
As for “the rest of the world” I am sure they can decide for themselves if they have an opinion about Fargo based on their own experiences and facts. You don’t need to decide for them and broadcast their feelings for them.
I feel bad for you. I disagree with your opinion of Fargo but I am sure you have your reasons to rant. Your post sounds like thinking about Fargo makes you very angry. I hope you are able to find a place to call home that brings you comfort and joy. It would be unhealthy to stay somewhere that makes you so unhappy.
Shalom,
Shannon
Uncle Rico—
You are not the spokesperson for the rest of the world.
Enjoy living in Fargo, “Turning Midwestern!” Embrace cotton tights under your jeans and socks, block heaters and extra long extension cords, turtlenecks, boots that barely make it through the winter, extra time to exercise into your “swimsuit-ready body,” a shorter mosquito and allergy season than the South, Bison football, neighbors you are on a first name basis with, ending a phrase or sentence with a preposition like “with” & being aware of it, jello as a side, cheez whiz, green olive, and cinnamon bread (that’s how I found your blog–wondered if anyone else still ate that–LOVE!)
Best wishes “Turning Midwestern!” I will close with: Duane’s House of Pizza…mmm, and did I mention Bison football?
—Kim, Frisco, TX
“Turning Texan”–the “as yet empty” blog
Hi! I was wondering if I could interview you for a class?
Sure Hannah. I’m happy to help. Can you send me a direct message on here so I don’t post my personal email?
Just came across your blog while looking for story ideas. I’m a reporter for Valley News Live, and ironically, new ND from CA. I’m really interested in doing a story with you. Would you email me at hopeh@valleynewslive.com?
You actually make it appear so easy with your presentation but I in finding this topic to be actually one thing that I believe I’d never understand. It sort of feels too complicated and extremely huge for me. I’m taking a look ahead in your next post, I will attempt to get the hang of it!
Hi, Hailey,
I grew up in three Midwestern states in the 60s and 70s. SoDak, Illinois, and Minnesota. the Midwest is a pretty diverse place. Duluth is a Seaport. Chicago is a big industrial city with a waterfront. The iron mountains of Michigan and Minnesota. The cornfields of Illinois and Iowa. The friendly towns in Ohio. Fargo is pretty much the northwest suburbs of the Midwest.
Doesn’t Minnesota have NoDak beat for cold? We had blizzards when we lived in Minnesota, but nothing like the blizzards I saw during my 10 years in SoDak. I loved the way it would just start “blizzarding” in Dakota.
I do miss those green prairies in the spring. The grasses waving in the wind.
Don’t get to see the northern lights here very often along Colorado’s Front Range.
I was happy to see a recipe for knoephla, though I’m thinking my grandma’s recipe is the best ;o) Also glad I found the recipe for kuchen. I haven’t had that in decades and will be making some this winter. I do enjoy the spicy foods we have here in Denver.
Everybody in everybody’s business. The big cities used to be like that but a little different. If I got in to mischief as a kid in Chicago, you can bet I’d hear about it the moment I got home. How did she know?
Sorry about being a bit prolix here, but I may have something that may interest you. I have a mimeographed copy of a NoDak settler’s memoirs. The copyright belongs to an institution that no longer exists. I’ve searched the author and book title and found nothing. I’m going to digitize it’s contents over the winter before the words have completely faded away. There are some interesting stories in there. If you want, I’ll post the link when I’m done.
One more thing about life in Dakota in the 1960s. Gotta remember back then, no internet. No cable TV. I remember when the first FM station came on the air and they didn’t play rock ‘n’ roll (easy listening ‘music’). Listened to WLS out of Chicago at night for rock ‘n’ roll. It was much more isolated back then. Because there wasn’t “anything to do”, Dakota kids were creative kids. I’d probably go to jail today for some of the things I did back then.
Good luck to you and Blake.
I would love to have you share that with me. I look forward to browsing it! Thanks for reading my blog. I’m so glad it can bring back positive memories for people.
Just found your blog–absolutely love it!
I’m a born & raised North Dakotan and love your commentary on midwestern life and approval even to the point of becoming midwestern!
Thank you so much for reading!
love your blog! i stumbed across it by accident, but im very glad i did! im north dakotan born and raised, but have lived in both eastern and western north dakota, which are almost two different worlds within themselves! did you know that rodeo isnt just something farm kids do for fun?? at dickinson state university its actually a school sponsored sport, with scholarships offered and everything! and hockey is rare on the west side of the state in comparison to the east side. Bismarck = BEAUTIFUL, you need to take a dive down by the missouri if you haven’t yet. My boyfriend convinced me to move to fargo and part of his technique was by buying me a book titled “How Fargo of You”..written by a man who moved to fargo from phoenix, i bet you could relate to the book, it was “oh, for cute”
**DRIVE by the missouri, please dont dive into it! haha!
So glad you enjoy the blog!
Hi I love your blog
(thinking of starting one myself) my family and I just moved up here last spring from southern Cali and getting ready to experience our first winter in the Midwest.
Hailey, I recently found your blog in a google search. I am moving from Arizona (where I was born and raised and have never left) to North Dakota with my boyfriend. When I found the blog titled “Becoming Midwestern” I just had to read it. I was soon addicted and read every post and I could not stop laughing when I read the “Midwest Dictionary”, but when I read your about section I was so inspired! I just posted my first post on my own blog. Thank you so much for making me feel so much better about my own move to North Dakota
First of all… I’m so glad you’ve found my blog and that it helped ease the transition to North Dakota. Second, you will love North Dakota… I promise! It was definitely a huge adjustment for me, but it was the best (and scariest) decision I ever made. Taking a risk has definitely paid off. Do you know what part of North Dakota you are headed to? Good luck with the move and let me know if you need any tips!
We will be moving to Grand Forks in December. So I will be arriving in the middle of winter. If you have any tips I should know before I get there or driving in feel free to tell me, and once I get there if you don’t mind I definitely think I will be using you and your blog as my guide. Thanks again so much!
Biggest tip… don’t worry about looking cute, just dress warmly. I made the mistake my first year here of focusing on cute winter accessories rather than focusing on the practicality of my winter clothes.
Hopefully we don’t have too hard of winter. My first winter here was a disaster, but last year was relatively mild. Practice driving in snow if you haven’t really done so before. I slid all over the place so I had to go practice in a parking lot. Good luck with the move! You’ll love it here!
Thanks so much Hailey!!
I really appreciate it! I am sure I will love it!
Hi Hailey,
Just stumbled onto your blog and it had me glued for hours. I am a transplant to fargo from East Africa (not for a boy but for school) and a proud bison grad and fan. Needless to say I am still going through your experiences 8 years on and wouldnt trade Fargo for anywhere else. As a 7yr Midwestern, ND and its people never fail to amaze. I thought I would have a u-haul packed and ready to go after I graduated but I am yet to pack 3 years on. Enjoy the area, doesnt get better and I look forward to hearing your experiences. Wait until I tell you my first interaction with Winter LOL.
Hi Tony, thank so much for reading! I’m thrilled you can relate to my experiences in the Midwest! I’m sure your first interaction with winter was WAY more traumatic than mine being that I doubt you get too much snow in East Africa.
Hailey, I am so happy I stumbled across your blog.
I literally just returned from Fargo 2 days ago..after not having been up there for 11 years (my entire Mom’s side of the fam is up there)..and I did NOT want to leave. How I felt more at HOME there than my actual HOME in Illinois!?
I am moving up there.
I’ll look for you in the summers when you’re screaming at the road construction
!
<3 <3
elise
Elise: Thank you so much for reading! It’s amazing how quickly Fargo can feel like home. I grew up in Washington state and Maryland, and I feel more at home in Fargo than I have anywhere else. Now if I could only get my family out here it would be perfect! Welcome home!
<3 <3 <3 <3 FAR TO THE GO!
My husband and I are toying with the idea of moving back to Fargo and while researching the idea I stumbled upon your blog. I’m so glad I did! Your observations had me laughing out loud many times. North Dakotans are a unique bunch for sure, but that’s what I like about them. Thanks for sharing! Go Bison!
Hailey – You’re the best! Kudos from a displaced North Dakotan living in Maryland!
It’s almost like we traded places. I guess technically I’m a displaced Marylander living in North Dakota. So glad you enjoy the posts and thanks for reading!
A friend of mine just told me about your blog and I immediately started reading. I grew up in Grand Forks and lived in Fargo about 7 years. I am now living in Rhode Island and your blog made me cry after reading about 5 posts! I love it and thank you for sharing! My husband is also from ND and he has said on numerous occasions that he didn’t realize what we had until we left! I can’t wait to tell all my other ND friends about your blog!
Thank you so much for reading! I’m so glad I can make you smile.
Can’t wait for you to spend some time in the the rest of North Dakota!
Hi Hailey,
Great Blog! Your grandmother told us about it and I’ve been laughing my head off! Since I am from the Midwest, I know what you are experiencing! Too funny! I haven’t heard you say “holy cow” yet!!! smile! Or I’ll be darned! Check out Alazar’s website… certainly not as entertaining as yours, but then it is a more serious topic! You should have been a writer!! Well, you are!! Love reading your blog – - thanks!
- – Bob (and Alazar)
Hailey your blog is incredible. I love it! I check it almost daily for any new updates.
I wanted to propose a suggestion to your blog, if you don’t mind. Since the title is “Becoming Midwestern” you should include any adventures you encounter outside North Dakota, and Fargo in general, since the Midwest encompasses about 12 different states. I mean obviously that’s not possible if you haven’t ventured outside NoDak! But yeah, just some friendly feedback. I love the blog regardless. Keep on posting!
Hi Seth,
So glad you enjoy reading my blog! I agree that I need to get out of North Dakota to really explore the Midwest. Unfortunately, I haven’t had too much of an opportunity with my busy schedule. Grad school keeps me pretty tied to Fargo. Hopefully I’ll have more opportunities this summer. Thanks again for reading.
Hailey
Hailey,
I love your blog so much and had to tell you about something I saw on the Fargo Forum’s website today. Fargo was named an “America’s Most Interesting Town” by Reader’s Digest. They are looking for people living in Fargo to submit photos and stories for an upcoming issues. The winning entry gets $1,000. I thought of you right away and how you would be perfect for writing about Fargo!
Oh my gosh! This is so great. Thank you for sharing it with me. I’m definitely going to submit something. Wish me luck!
Good luck! I hope you win!
First of all, I just want to say I love reading your blog. If you would like to check out some of our midwestern gymnastics talent, you should go to the Gold-N-Motion show put on by American Gold Gymnastics! It is a wonderful show that is being held at Concordia Fieldhouse. The FM Acro Team (a 1/2 time basketball performance team) as well as the Competitive teams! It is a great time for people of all ages! Check it out this Sunday, March 18th 3:00pm at Concordia Fieldhouse. I love the show! Keep blogging, I love to read it!!
Well first off I would like to say I love your blog and always look forward to hearing about your adventures in ND and the upper midwest. Also big solar storm coming I’m sure you’ve heard. So I hope you get to really experience the magic of the Northern Lights
Hey! I love your blog and have used it to keep the spirit within my alive during my preparation for my travels to MInnesota to study the hotdish. I’m living in Olympia going to Evergreen right now and it caught my eye that you’re from Washington
I’d love the chance to chat with you about your experiences with the hotdish and eating in the Midwest! I can’t find anywhere to follow your blog or contact you so hopefully you’ll get back to me.
minnesotalica.wordpress.com
minnesotalica@gmail.com
One of my friends just posted your blog…so great! I went to college and grad school in Grand Forks ND and then moved to Washington…and then moved back to the upper midwest (unfortunately not North Dakota, but that’s still a possibility someday). It’s fun to read your perspective on a move the other way
LOL! I found you through “tater tot casserole” search–which I haven’t had since Wisconsin. I’m from Wisconsin but moved to Washington state recently. There are times I miss the midwest, but mostly not
It is a very interesting part of the country. Milwaukee has a huge German/Polish population, very sturdy, no nonsense types. In addition to some of the words in your dictionary, one of the biggest in WI is, “Oh Jeez!”-spoken with that flat accent. It is used whenever an exclamation is necessary. Then there is, “Cripes sake!” which I think is another kind way not to take the Lord’s name in vain. I get laughed at whenever I say “Oh Jeez” it in these parts 
Then there is always, DA Packers! Beer and cheese curds, baby!
I look forward to reading more of your posts!
A friend just introduced me to this blog and from what I’ve read, I love it! I’m originally from MN, but I worked in Fargo for two years before I moved to Wyoming with my boyfriend (cannot wait to go back). It’s really nice to see that moving to Fargo can be just as strange as leaving Fargo.
I just want to tell you that I absolutely love reading your blog! I just moved to Washington state from ND and it makes me kind of homesick reading some of the things you write about, but it also remindes me of things I still have yet to tell all my coworkers about North Dakota.
You appear to have not been able to experience the greatest thing offered in North Dakota: a UND Fighting Sioux hockey game, live, in Grand Forks. It is the premium event of the entire state. Email me if you are interested in seeing a game- I have season tickets you and your spouse could use…
You’re right! I was hoping to get up there some time this season and finally see a game!
Sorry I have been busy with unexpected family business.
Send an email to rlaraway@jc.edu about hockey tickets if you are still interested. No home games until after Thanksgiving now though. Schedule is available at UND athletics or Siouxsports.com to plan a specific date.
2 tickets for you are available.
I thought I’d have to read a book for a dsicevory like this!
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Just found your blog today, really enjoyed reading it. As you probably have found out, ND has a variety of food and culture with its Norwegians, Russian-Germans (my heritage) and Indians. They are all hearty stock and willing to come you the aid of those who need it. I was born there but moved to CA as a child. I have enjoyed all my visits and am proud to say I was born in this state that gets so much ribbing.
Actually if you go by the weather people we are upper great plains and they consider the area south of the great lakes to be midwest. Never has made sense to me.
Have you identified at what point you leave the midwest? Traveling west, for example, at what point leave the midwest and enter the west. Then, at what point do you leave the west and enter the west coast?
…well, of course once you get “west river”!
That’s a good question. I think I would group it by state. To me, Montana is in the West, not the Midwest.