If you haven’t heard (though doubtful being that I myself have been bombarded with Facebook posts, Twitter tweets, newspaper articles, radio babble, and general mumbling spreading the news)… today is the first day of Spring. Hooray! Hooray! Spring is here! Shout it from the rooftops! Break out the pastels and crop pants! Spring is
here! While in reality, today looks and feels the exact same as it did yesterday when it was still winter (three feet of snow and bitterly cold), I felt different when I woke up this morning. Bad different. My theory: I woke up from my Midwest mental hibernation.
Let me explain. I believe that in order to protect myself from the hardest, coldest, longest, snowiest, winter I’ve experienced in the three winters I’ve lived in the upper Midwest, my body unconsciously went into a state of Midwest mental hibernation. This state of hibernation allowed me to ignore how dark and freezing it was outside every morning when I woke up and how warm and cozy my bed was. This state of hibernation prevented extreme profanities from spewing out of my mouth every time I stepped in a snow drift, which in turn caused my feet to be cold the rest of the day. This state of hibernation provided me with the tolerance and ability to express sympathy when I received phone calls from family members and friends across the country whom complained about their “bad weather” (also known as a dusting of snow that melts the next day and low 30 degree temperatures). Plain and simple, Midwest mental hibernation keeps people living here and ignoring the most brutal winters that ever existed anywhere on this planet, second only to places where polar bears, penguins, and Santa live.
I can only imagine that if a bear woke up after a long winter hibernation and emerged from his cave expecting to see butterflies, green grass, and birds chirping, only to be met with snow on the ground and no green grass in sight, he’d be a little grumpy to say the least. Clearly, this is what happened to me today. Yes, I know it is illogical to think that magically everything would be melted when I woke up this morning. However, my extreme level of irritation with the snow and cold weather today is significantly more elevated than it has been all winter. The only conclusion: my Midwest mental hibernation is over and I will be permanently grumpy with Mother Nature until the snow melts.